No Blinkers, No problem! The bigger than small city of Clarksville, Tennessee has been named the winner of the coveted "No Blinkers" award, given out by the A-holes and Automobiles organization (AaA) in partnership with the National Association of Bad Drivers (NABD).

The award, which has been handed out every year since 1992, recognizes the American city with the highest percentage of drivers who refuse to use turn signals while driving. In a landslide victory made possible by so many new residents and already bad drivers - Clarksville beat out cities like Nashville, Miami, Los Angeles, and New York to take home the title.

Image Credit: Above-Us

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Award Selection

According to the AaA and NABD, Clarksville's win was due in part to a number of factors - most notably the lack of public transportation options, virtually zero feet of useful sidewalks, a high percentage of habitually intoxicated drivers, overcrowded roads, low police wages, and a general disregard for traffic laws among the city's drivers.

"We were really impressed with Clarksville's commitment to not using turn signals. Their drivers showed a level of determination and disregard for safety that we just don't see in other cities." said AaA spokesperson Amanda Peters.

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Official’s Reception

"We're thrilled to receive this recognition," said Mayor Joe Clarksburger’s press statement. "We've been working tirelessly to improve the quality of life for our citizens and this award shows that our efforts are paying off."

Another local news site reported that Ward 5 Councilwoman Ambar Marquis became ecstatic when hearing about the award. She exclaimed “This is the biggest reason why the city is getting so much accomplished. Every Driver saves several seconds every day by not using their turn signals. Multiply those seconds by each driver in the city, and you have hundreds of [saved] hours for people to be more productive. I am proud of our city and plan to disable my vehicle's turn signals permanently in celebration!”

In response to the award, the city of Clarksville has announced a number of initiatives to further promote the "No Blinkers" movement. These initiatives include a public awareness campaign featuring billboards and radio ads urging drivers to "stay strong, and never use your turn signals." The Street Department has also announced the installation of special "No Blinker" parking spots in the city's historic downtown area.

Image Credit: Above-Us

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Public Reaction

Local drivers have expressed mixed reactions to the news of Clarksville's win. Some are proud of the city's achievement, while others worry that it will lead to more dangerous driving habits.

"I think it's great that we won this award," said local resident Lemmy “two-tators” Krator. "I mean, who needs turn signals anyway? They just slow you down and confuse people."

Others however, were more concerned about the implications of the award.

"I think this is a terrible thing for our city," said local business owner, Mike Brown. "We should be promoting safe driving habits - not encouraging people to break the law."

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Despite the mixed reactions, it's clear that the city of Clarksville is proud of its win. "We're going to have a parade to celebrate our victory" announced Mayor Clarksburger. "And we're not going to use turn signals to get there."

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By Chris P
Friday, March 24 2023