In a shocking turn of events, a local DJ Known as "The Beat Master" has expressed confusion and dismay at his continued lack of fame, despite playing "Despacito" a staggering 100 times a night at his gigs.

"It just doesn't make sense," said Beat Master, wiping the sweat from his brow after another exhausting set at a local club. "I mean, I'm playing the hottest track of the year, right? Everyone loves 'Despacito'! And yet, I'm still just a small-time DJ, struggling to make ends meet."

The Beat Masters frustration has been mounting for months, as he's watched other DJs in the area gain national attention and record deals, while he remains largely unknown. He's tried everything from changing his stage name to "DJ Despacito" to wearing a giant "Despacito" hat during his sets, but nothing seems to be working.

"I even tried playing 'Despacito' backwards once, just to see if that would make me stand out," Beat Master admitted. "But all it did was give me a headache and make people leave the dance floor."

Despite the setbacks, The Beat Master remains hopeful that his dedication to "Despacito" will eventually pay off.

"I know it's a long shot, but maybe if I play it 200 times a night, I'll finally get the recognition I deserve," he said. "Or maybe I'll just go deaf. Either way, it'll be worth it."

As for the club-goers who have to endure The Beat Master's never-ending "Despacito" remixes, they've developed a unique coping mechanism.

"We just pretend it's a different song every time he plays it," said one club regular. "Like, 'Oh, this must be the 'Despacito' remix featuring Shakira and Pitbull.' It helps us keep our sanity."

At the end of the day, one thing is clear: The Beat Master's unwavering commitment to "Despacito" is both admirable and utterly ridiculous. Whether it will lead to fame and fortune remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: he won't be giving up on "Despacito" anytime soon.

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By Chris P
Friday, March 3 2023